"In addition to learning how to treat others, children must also be treated well themselves if they are to develop gracious manners. Parents most often think in terms of how they can teach their child to behave toward others and only rarely stop to think of the courtesy that even a small
child is owed.
Here are the basic courtesies that
any child is owed:
- Do not talk down. Children may not think or act like adults, but they do know when they are being condescended to, and they do not like it.
- Do not speak babytalk. Apart from the fact that speech experts have determined that babytalk only confuses a child, the child may think this is an acceptable way to speak. And there are few things more ridiculous than an adult speaking jibberish.
- Do not use vulgar language. In today's media-oriented world, with standards at what must be an all-time low, he will learn vulgar language soon enough. There is nothing cute about a two-year-old using obscene expressions that he does not understand.
- Do not, if you can possibly avoid doing so, discipline your child n public."
~Taken from The New Etiquette by Marjabelle Young Stewart
Is there anything you would add to this list?
I need that reminder about public. It is so true, especially verbal correction in teens. Thanks for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteWhat is your opinion on saying please and thank you to a child? We don't have children at home yet, but I work in the nursery at our church, and I hear parents address their children this way frequently.
ReplyDeleteFrom one perspective I see it as polite - if I asked my husband to do a load of laundry for me, or pick up his belongings on the table, I would say please and thank him for doing it. My husband often thanks me for washing dishes or cooking a meal. It seems beneficial to address your children with a please with asking them to fetch you an item from another room or to help with a special chore.
On the other hand, I wonder if a child would confuse using pleases and thank yous with making a request rather than issuing a directive you expect them to obey.
What are your thoughts?
I appreciate your thoughts and question. I think that it's good to say please and thank you when you tell your kids to do something. Yet, you should still have the right as the parent to give your child a command without saying please and thank you. For example, in an emergency situation you don't say "please get out of the street!" So, in any situation the child should obey the parent's command. I would say please and thank you as much as possible to set a good example, but still be able to give a command with a serious tone in a critical or emergency situation.
DeleteThanks for stopping by my blog! I'm grateful for your thoughtfulness in your answer, and I think that makes sense.
DeleteSo true, and so often forgotten! I would add, stopping tickling, teasing, wrestling, etc, when your child asks you too. I hated more than anything as a child when adults would tickle me mercilessly, even when I begged them to stop, and got away with it just because they were bigger than me. Also, with my baby I am trying to stop force feeding her when she shows signs of being finished eating. So often I try to get her just to finish the serving I've prepared for her- but when she is done, she is done! I wouldn't want someone to force feed me :).
ReplyDeletegood thoughts and good reminder.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by Missional Mama. I have enjoyed reading and looking around your blog.
Blessings,
Amy
www.missionalmamassoul.blogspot.com