This month my family and I traveled to California to go our annual Harvester's Homecoming at our mother church. It's a time when all the pastors and their families that have been sent out to pioneer a church return home for a time of preaching and refreshing. Recently, I've been reflecting on my role as a pastor's wife, and I'm so thankful for a book I came across that really encouraged me....I wish I would have found it sooner!
Jeana Floyd's, 10 Things Every Minister's Wife Needs to Know, is a well written book full of wisdom. Jeana wrote this book after serving in the ministry with her husband for 30 years. Being a pastor's wife is not an easy role to fill. But after reading the first chapter, I was immediately drawn to spend time with God. That one thing is the most important thing I can do as a pastor's wife. Reading Jeana Floyd's book brought a confidence in my life as I sought to fulfill my role as a pastor's wife.
A Few Quotes from the book:
* "Survival in ministry to me is knowing that I have a personal relationship with Christ, who knows every detail of my life, and gives me the awesome privilege of coming before Him - in the "secret place."
* "I heard it said one time that your husband's appearance is a reflection of you, and your countenance is a reflection of your marriage."
* "Taking the time to be a few minutes early and speak to people, or visiting with church members after service doesn't sound like anything particularly spiritual or clever. However, it shows that you care about your people, that you are interested in their lives, and that you actually like them!"
* "Being raised in a pastor's home, I was taught that you cannot have friends in the ministry. Because ministry life and the expectations that go along with it have changed so drastically, I personally believe it is possible to have relationships and friendships in ministry. In fact, I will go a step further and say that you must have friends and relationships in ministry."
* "If we are 'spent' from constantly pouring into the lives of others, we will not be effective in ministering to those God particularly wants us to reach. Remember, even Jesus drew aside from the crowds to refresh Himself."
Here are some things that I wrote down in my journal that spoke to me from the book:
My presence at church and events tells people that I care about them and that this is important to me
Let the men be men
Love the people, let my husband be the pastor
Your children will really know if you love the church by the things you say at home; they will know how you value each church member in what you say about them outside of church
Share positives of dad being a pastor with my kids
Count on criticism
Always listen and learn from critics and allow it to draw me close to God
Let the Lord fight my battles
Deal with hurt inwardly (with God), not outwardly
All relationships must have boundaries...relationships also make ministry fun
Don't let the disappointment of a very few keep you from enjoying the love of many others
When I love others, they will love me back
Mentor--be what God has called me to be in front of other women
My Application: After reading this book, my perspective changed in how I look at my role as a pastor's wife. I realized how significant my attendance at church services and church functions simply was. I've always gone to all the church services ever since I've been a Christian. But, long ago I was a girl who arrived right on time to church and left the second the closing prayer was made. Even when I got married I wanted to leave right after service. But, I've changed. I take joy in looking for those I can talk to and connect with at church. I linger after service...sometimes my husband (the pastor) heads out the door before I do! People are important and my heart is to do my best to convey it.
"My attitude is ultimately what makes our house a peaceful haven. And because I can only accomplish this by leaning on the Lord, it is my relationship with him that ultimately will provide a nurturing environment for the people I love."