Looking through one of my old books I came across a list of good questions to ask myself from the book The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace...
(Guess it's great for me to think these things in theory, but another for me to actually do it!)
Respecting Your Husband...A Self-Assessment
1. Do you speak to your husband in a condescending "put down" manner?
"What's the matter with you?"
"Anybody could have done better than you did."
"My Dad would have never done that."
"Can't you do anything right?"
"I should have known better than to depend on you."
"Don't be stupid."
"What you just said is ridiculous."
"You old fool!"
"You're too slow, I'll do it myself."
It is better to live in a desert land, than with a contentious and vexing woman. Proverbs 21:19
2. Do you treat your husband in private as respectful as you do your pastor, your neighbor, or your friends in public?
Honor all men, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the King. 1 Peter 2:17
3. Does your countenance show your disrespect by angry looks, looks of disgust, crossed arms, etc?
Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? "If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it." Genesis 4:6-7
4. Do you talk for your husband or interrupt him?
Love is patient...does not act unbecomingly, it does not seek its own (way)... 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
5. Do you try to intimidate or bully your husband by making threats, verbally attacking him, crying, or in some other way manipulating him to have your way?
The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands. Proverbs 14:1
6. Do you bring up his shortcomings to others?
Her husband is known in the gates...Proverbs 31:23
7. Do you inappropriately contradict him in front of others?
She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12
8. Do you compare him unfavorably with other men?
...for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. Philippians 4:11
9. Do you listen carefully to your husband's opinion, trying to understand him?
Let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak...James 1:19
10. Do you respect his position in the home so much that he can depend on you to do as he asks even when he is not home?
The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. Proverbs 31:11
11. Do you respect his requests by trying to do as he asks, even if it doesn't seem important to you?
For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands. 1 Peter 3:5
12. Would your husband say that you have a meek and a quiet spirit? If you do, it will be apparent in how you treat him.
And let not your adornment be merely external braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gently and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 1 Peter 3:3-4
13. Are you obeying God by being respectful to your husband?
...let the wife see to it that she respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33